Confession monologue

CONFESSION

INT: A CONFESSIONAL IN A CATHOLIC CHURCH

Diana kneels in front of the partition, makes the sign of the cross, and speaks to the priest.

DIANA

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been three days since my last confession.

(hesitatingly)

I used the Lord's name in vain again…�twice. But I'm not so sure that it was in vain, Father, because if you call on God to damn the wicked, then isn't "God damn you" an appropriate phrase to use?

(Reacting to the priest's intake of breath, hastily)

Not that I should say it here! Forgive me, Father. I need so much forgiveness. I have so many doubts, and I know I need to do penance. It's hard for me to see the path the Lord has laid out for me when my life is such a cruel joke.

(The priest starts to speak, but she cuts him off)

Not that I blame him! I don't. I know I did this to myself. I spared the rod and now the child is spoiled. But I swear, Father, when David was born I vowed to God that I would do as the Bible commands: for the Lord so sayeth, "Sanctify unto me all the firstborn, whatsoever openeth the womb among the children of Israel, both of man and of beast: it is mine."

(pause)

I thought that I would deliver another priest to the church. The first moment I looked into David's eyes, I saw two paths: I saw myself reflected there, and grandchildren that might someday follow. But I also saw holiness and my sacred duty. I saw how perfect he was and I chose sacrifice because I knew he must be devoted to God.

But he isn't, Father. He pushes me, always, every day. I think he enjoys it. It's like he's been possessed. He came home with an earring, if you'd believe it, although I tore it out when I saw it. He dyed his hair blue and I swear that I shaved his head that very minute, but nothing comes of it. Last night he told me that he wants to be a…a Buddha worshiper! An idolater!

That was when I said the blasphemy, Father-when I took the Lord's name in vain: once in the house and once out the front door.

(Her breath begins to hitch)

And I've felt this clenching in my stomach since I said those terrible words, such an awful churning. And I can't make the feeling go away on my own. I can't, I can't, I can't.

(Shaking her head, tears slipping down her cheeks)

For these, and all of my sins, I am sorry.